Growing up, I dreamt of becoming a dramatic musician artist, like Wagner, Mozart, or Handel. I did well at school and university (music, italian, design), but because of the clash between my idealism and mainstream society, I began to have nervous breakdowns in my early twenties. At that point, I explored sex and intimate relationships, and in 2003 was stimulated by the example of a friend who was enthusiastic about idealism and intellectualising philosophically about reality. This relationship led me to the solitary path of reason, dropping-out of society to find out how to live wisely. In 2003, I became celibate, living alone, fully dedicated to the philosophical path.
The following texts were of great benefit to me:
- the deeply humorous and meditative Wisdom of the Infinite written by David Quinn;
- Otto Weininger's spirit-shattering libation to truth, written in his early twenties: Sex and Character ;
- and Poison for the Heart by Kevin Solway.
From 2005 to 2016, my income was the disability pension, because I found my commitment to an absolute immersion in understanding the nature of Reality disabled me for employment in a classical sense, though I was fully immersed in philosophical work. I was found to have a schizotypal personality, in contrast to the more common schizotypoid personality, and my views to be so odd as to be regarded as psychotic (schizophrenic). From 2014, I decided to take some time off philosophical interactions in order to build a small (legal) shelter. And, in 2017, I found it necessary to deal with deeper psychological blockages by choosing no longer to be celibate, and to explore sex and intimate relationships again. I have found my life has taken some new turnings, but the underlying purpose remains unchanged. My purpose in life is to help people awaken to Nature.
